Love
With the arrival of Valentine's Day romance is in the air. As a mental health professional how many times have you heard a string of discontentment followed by but "I really love him or her?" Research indicates that many of us think being with someone is better than being alone. Relationships are very important part of our lives. How often have you seen someone who is presenting in crisis triggered by discontent or another issue in a primary relationship or the loss of a primary relationship? Subjectively it appears most crises are triggered in this way.
What does it take to have healthy long-term intimate relationships? This American Life interviewed Dr. John Gottman, a marriage researcher who gives specific descriptions of what works and what doesn't in marriage. This interview can be heard with Real Player at the link www.thislife.org - The Sanctity of Marriage 3/26/04.
Following are a list of attributes of a successful long-term marriages from research in the U.S. in the late 20th century. Introduction of Psychology, by James Kalat.
The husband and wife have similar attitudes and personalities.
They have sexual relations frequently and arguments infrequently.
They have adequate income.
The husband has a good enough job to maintain self-respect.
The couple's parents have successful marriages.
After being in DBT skills training for the past two days, these skills are fresh in my mind and can be useful for ourselves, other populations and not just for patients diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder.
The Interpersonal Effectiveness Skill GIVE used in DBT is a good example of how we can have more genuine compassion with each other and improve our ways of being in relationship with each other.
G - Gentle (be gentle)
I - (Act) Interested
V - Validate (others)
E - Easy Manner (be light-hearted)
Happy Valentine's Day!
What does it take to have healthy long-term intimate relationships? This American Life interviewed Dr. John Gottman, a marriage researcher who gives specific descriptions of what works and what doesn't in marriage. This interview can be heard with Real Player at the link www.thislife.org - The Sanctity of Marriage 3/26/04.
Following are a list of attributes of a successful long-term marriages from research in the U.S. in the late 20th century. Introduction of Psychology, by James Kalat.
The husband and wife have similar attitudes and personalities.
They have sexual relations frequently and arguments infrequently.
They have adequate income.
The husband has a good enough job to maintain self-respect.
The couple's parents have successful marriages.
After being in DBT skills training for the past two days, these skills are fresh in my mind and can be useful for ourselves, other populations and not just for patients diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder.
The Interpersonal Effectiveness Skill GIVE used in DBT is a good example of how we can have more genuine compassion with each other and improve our ways of being in relationship with each other.
G - Gentle (be gentle)
I - (Act) Interested
V - Validate (others)
E - Easy Manner (be light-hearted)
Happy Valentine's Day!
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